I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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