I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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