All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
