...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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