Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
