Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
