How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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