Soap is not a condiment
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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