You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
