hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
