It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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