So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
