Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Randomize
