I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize