no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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