i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He shit in the fireplace
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
