Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
