She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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