She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
