I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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