cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
