i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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