so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
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soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
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We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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