Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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