How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
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I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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