i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i out mim tonsoeep
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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