Yo dont text me then not text me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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