Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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