Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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