She said her name was "party"
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
