if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
