i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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