your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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