If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
