mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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