Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
