I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
