She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
