oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
