Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
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