My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
