Just fell off a train. Bad.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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