sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
