I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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