new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
