We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
