Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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