Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
