if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
