my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize