that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
