i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
