i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
