We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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