On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
