My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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